Why did I write a sequel? and why did it take so long?

I would love to be one of those writers that makes time everyday to faithfully get those 1000 words in, but the reality is I am just...not. I know in previous blogs I promised I would force myself to write, but life happens. The last year has been an incredible journey, which has led me down numerous paths. I'll try to sum it up best I can...

So to answer the first question of why I wrote a sequel: I wasn't planning to write one. In fact I started this sequel easily 8-10 years ago on a whim. One day I had a scene that was playing in my mind over and over again, and I knew I wasn't finished with the characters yet. Crystal is one of my favorite characters out of everything I've ever written, and something in me told me her story needed to continue. Not to mention new characters kept popping into my head, but only in the Onyx universe.

The year I published Crystal to Onyx was also the year I started to really buckle down and write Onyx Excavated. I would definitely say the bulk was written in 2019-2020. Then, as you know, COVID hit and with it many tragedies that I have previously shared. The book was finished in 2021, nearly a year and a half before I published it. I hate that my books take so long to get out. I hate that barriers get in the way. However, sometimes those barriers are good ones.

The beginnig of 2022 marked many hectic changes at my full time job. The work was literally 24/7. I was responsible all hours, day and night, for the operation of a psychiatric emergency room. This was not a role I chose, but rather was thrust into about five years ago. I grew to love some aspects of it, but after time the place started to wear me down. I was starting to lose focus on why I went into the mental health field. My main responsibilities were not patient care, but administrative bullshit that crushed my soul. The politics of a hospital can be very difficult to maneuver, especially when you are such a strong mental health advocate. I grew to hate it. Not to mention the challenges with staffing, dealing with incredibly entitled employees, drama of a high school level, and being woken up for absolutely....nothing most nights. Now don't get me wrong. I did have an amazing team. I loved most of the people who worked for me and I cherish the memories of these individuals. But truthfully, some people just drain you no matter what you do.

One night, after arguing endlessly with someone in administration and having my poor, burnt out team criticized left and right, I had an epiphany. I couldn't do this anymore. I was capable yes, but the drive was no longer there. I was receiving no reward for my hard work, but constant badgering and a sense that I was not really moving forward. After a lot of contemplation, I decided to leave my full time job in favor of my per diem. There were many other factors that influenced my decision. One of them was my health and anxiety level. My anxiety became so bad that no amount of medication would settle the constant dread that surrounding me. My husband even told me my hair was starting to fall out. My blood pressure was up, as well as my weight. Other factors which influenced my decision included a recent health scare with my husband, the ongoing needs of my children, and the desire to devote more time to my patients, students, and writing.

The choice I made was by far one of the best in my life. My pockets are a little emptier, but not as much as I feared. With my new full time job I can devote true interventions to people in crisis. Also, my management team is incredible. I have never felt more nurtured and respected in any job. I truly love what I do and the people I work with. In addition, I am able to teach more. I have a wonderful new gig teaching incarcerated persons, which is a very exciting experience. I am, for the first time in my life, at a phase where I truly enjoy going to work. It has been almost a year since this giant change, and it has taken some time to adjust.

So, writing took a back seat again. I do regret this a bit, but not as much as in the past. I should have written more, and I was actually quite surprised that I haven't. But, I was basking in the glow of my new career and newfound sense of calm. Absolutely priceless. So...I managed to get Onyx Excavated out, just a little later than scheduled. LOL. I do think I will be writing more in months to come. Despite my husband's wishes, I do think Crystal's story is finally over, and I can devote more time to Ena, the protagonist in my next book: In a Future Green. However, as I have been taught time and time again, the future is not set. So who knows? :-)

Those Weird, Dark and Tortured Love Stories

Wow. I am ashamed to say it's been almost a year since I posted anything. What can I say. It's been a year of grief with bouts of happiness. My mother's memory still haunts me. COVID is still in force for a full time healthcare worker, and I've had other challenges. These include family health issues, and a new puppy. :-)

However, I am proud to say I have completed "Onyx Excavated" and am finishing my final edits as my cover artist is hard at work. In the meantime, here is an essay I wrote I have been meaning to post for TWO YEARS.

Why do we crave those weird love stories?

I write unusual novels. Specifically, I write unusual love stories with an unearthly flair. Why? I invite you to explore this with me throughout the following post/essay. Ask yourself this: What do the following well known stories/movies have in common?

Wuthering Heights

Avatar

Phantom of the Opera

Twilight/Dracula

Splash/The Little Mermaid

Beauty and the Beast

The Shape of Water

Edward Scissorhands

Her

The Ghost and Mrs. Muir

Jane Eyre

Perhaps self destruction? Forbidden desires? Exploring the dark side? All are correct in my opinion. You will find a similar trend throughout my various works. I have repeatedly wondered why I am so attracted to these stories, and why I burn to write them. So I have decided to put my psychology and anthropology background to work and analyze some of these points which may be of interest.

Basic Evolutionary Theory and Mate Selection.

While I cannot deny my faith in a higher being, I also cannot ignore the power of evolution. Evolution and the theory of natural selection can explain for us how and why we have adapted to our environment physically as well as psychologically. For example, it can be argued that chameleons blend into their environment to keep them safe from predators and this ensures their survival. While human beings are physically fragile creatures, our intelligence ensures our survival by persuading us to make tools, seek shelter, invent medicines, etc. From a psychological standpoint, traits like aggression and jealousy can guarantee our access to necessary resources and mates, therefore passing our genes on to the next generation.

Charles Darwin of course, spent a lot of time on the theory of mate selection and what drives organisms to seek out their partners. So many of the “attractive features” in nature do not assist in physical survival. For example, elegant plumage in male birds will certainly not deter a predator, yet females will seek this male out to father their offspring. Therefore, sexual selection can be a powerful driving force. But what about human beings?

I think we can all agree that physical strength, attractiveness, ownership of favorable resources, and nurturing qualities are attractive in a mate. However, how do we explain why humans can be so attracted to those who are bad for them? Why do women want the “bad boys” who are so self destructive? How is that benefiting us from an evolutionary perspective?

This concept was explored in Jared Diamond’s “The Third Chimpanzee” (1991) as well as other works. Let’s look at a few examples from our list. Heathcliff from Wuthering Heights is far from the ideal mate. He is savage, isolated from society, brooding, far from nurturing, and takes many risks. Mr. Rochester from Jane Eyre is dark, not handsome, grumpy, and ultimately disfigured. Typical “Bad boys” in popular Media (Grease, Dirty Dancing, Rebel without a Cause) also seem to lure mates with no notable difficulty, despite the fact that they lack resources and do not engage in the most healthy of practices. This can include smoking, casual sex, thrill seeking, etc.

What is the allure? Well, according to many evolutionary theorists, it’s a sign of strong genes. Think of all the risks being taken. It is certainly not in our best interest to smoke, do drugs, fight consistently, put ourselves in harm’s way, etc. But the fact that these boys can engage in all of these behaviors and still come out strong demonstrates how resilient their genes actually are. It’s almost like saying “Hey ladies, look at me. Nothing touches me. Who are you going to get that’s better than me?” They must in fact, be made up of good stuff if they can endure so much danger. The type of stuff women want to pass on to their children.

Amoz Zahavi (1997) took this idea a bit further in terms of handicaps. He felt it must take terrific genes to survive a handicap, and the bigger the handicap, the more rigorous the test he has passed. We can relate this theory to Erik (Phantom of the Opera), Jake from AVATAR, and others.

So, we know that women want good mates, and we know why some of this can be analyzed using concepts addressed above. Women seeking commitment for the investment of their offspring could have led to the evolution of the Romance Novel in general. But can it explain the more unusual attractions we tend to see?

Romance in Anthropology

Anthropology we know is the study of human societies, cultures and their development. The concept of romance can vary accordingly throughout different cultures. What we westerners consider to be romantic love may not exist in other areas throughout the world. That is not to say that Love doesn’t exist but the idealized angst and turmoil may have no part in some societies. Love is universal, but conceptualized in different ways.

In collectivist cultures, the needs of the group are valued about the needs of the individual. Some examples include those in the eastern world. A person in a collectivist culture is more likely to give priority to the group goals rather than individual goals or desires. These cultures in general are less likely to emphasize the allure of romance, particularly controversial relationships. Individualist cultures, (those that emphasize individual growth and independence) are more likely to place more importance on giving in to one’s desires. We can find this emphasis in the United States and other areas of the western world. Lindholm (2006) states “The existential desire to escape the limits of the given is the source of the human yearning for the sacred” (page 17).

The quest for romance, particularly for relationships that may be taboo, can be viewed as an extension of this. Our need to delve deeper into the depths of our strongest and most controversial inclinations is individualism at its best: Take what we can and damn the consequences.

We need to be careful however, in our interpretation of how the world sees romance. Western views of romance, particularly with the rise of technology, social media, etc. are spreading throughout the world. The long term effects or value placed by certain societies remain to be seen. I am by no means claiming to be an expert on whether or not romances, particularly forbidden romances, will be interpreted as palatable. The fact that the allure is so strong in our society is what leads to the overall question then, what psychological factors are at play?

Psychological Analysis and Escapism

One of the first individuals to study the areas of the mind that are responsible for human qualities is Carl Jung. An early psychoanalyst following on the works of Freud, Jung felt that all people share memories and ideas that help define our humanity. Within these shared memories and ideas, which he termed the collective unconscious, are archetypes which everyone can relate to. There is for example, the "mother" archetype represents caring and nurturing. The "wise" archetype represents lessons learned and a source of guidance. These various archetypes are seen all throughout literature, popular culture, and other human experiences. Therefore, we can also find them in the stories I have mentioned above.

The most relevant archetype here is that of the "shadow". Jung identified the shadow as consisting of the elements of ourselves we consider negative or unacceptable. Within our shadows are hidden anxieties, forbidden thoughts and other aspects deemed to be unsavory. Not too unlike Freud's concept of the Id. The Shadow is often portrayed in literature as the villain. For example, Darth Vader, Loki, or even the Joker. In our romantic fiction we can see the Shadow in Erik (POTO), Dracula, and even the Beast. What we see expressed so freely in these characters, we long for ourselves. It can be argued that the attraction to a shadow figure stems from our own secret desires yearning to be set free. Jung also felt we seek individuation, or allowing our repressed feelings to integrate or coexist with our true selves. In other words, psychological completeness with all aspects of who we are.

Similarly, humankind appears to be fascinated with the dark side. We are socialized to associate with that which is good, light and pure. The forbidden value of the darker side of humanity shines through in our "bad boys”. However, there is a fine line between good and evil, and many of our characters listed above have a side to them which is not entirely corrupted. Dracula for example, was in love. So was Erik and Beast. These stories that attract us can demonstrate that no matter how far we have sunk, there is always the possibility of salvation. Love can dilute our dark side. This dichotomy and balancing act between light and dark has always been a part of the human condition. In addition, we all want to be accepted for who we truly are, don't we?

Another psychological phenomenon which is applicable here is that of cognitive dissonance, the conflict that occurs when ideas or feelings are incongruent with our previously established values. We want our attitudes and our behavior to be in harmony. While we may not engage in certain behaviors in real life, we can seek them out in the fantasy realm. Psychological reactance may also be at play in our attraction to forbidden relationships. If we perceive that our choices are being restricted, we may react strongly and seek them out more. In other words, we want what we are told we cannot have. In real life, these relationships seldom work out, and research shows in fact that relationships supported by the community generally tend to be happier and more successful (Fugere, 2017) But then again, reality is not what we are craving when we dive into fiction is it?

We want an escape. The science fiction, paranormal or otherwise unusual story is a further step into forbidden relationships and escapism. It reflects not only dark desires, but possibilities. The excitement of getting swept away in a unique and impossible romance is escapism at its best. It allows our brains to take a break on life, and let our primitive core seek out that which drives us to engage with others. These stories are sensual, taboo and enticing, and I for one, will certainly keep writing them.

References

Darwin, C. (1859) On the Origin Of Species by Means of Natural Selection, or Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life. London: John Murray

Diamond, J. (1992) The Third Chimpanzee: The Evolution and Future of the Human Animal. New York: Harper Collins.

Fugere, M. (2017) The Allure of Forbidden Relationships. Psychology Today. Retreived from: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/dating-and-mating/201707/the-allure-forbidden-relationships

Jung, C. (1939) The Integration of the Personality (English Translation). New York: Farrar & Rinehart.

Lindholm, C. (2006) Romantic Love and Anthropology. Etnofoor. 19. 5-21. 10.2307/25758107.

Zahavi, Amotz (1975) Mate selection—a selection for a handicap. Journal of Theoretical Biology. 53 (1): 205–214.

Finally Here!

It has taken me over 25 years, but here it is. Most of you know that I suffered a devastating loss at the age of 18. A beautiful person was taken from this world way too soon. I spent many years after his death pouring my feelings into poetry. I have never been brave enough to release this book until now. Because I am not looking to make any sort of profit on this book, costs are at the extreme lowest to cover production costs only. If you are interested, lose yourself in Acidic Honey.

Special Thanks to my beautiful daughter Aurora Baker and wonderful friend Joy Landa for the amazing cover art.

https://www.amazon.com/Acidic-Honey-Kelly-Morgan-Baker/dp/1729635512/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=acidic+honey&qid=1604012800&s=books&sr=1-1